The happy phantom has no right to bitch
These are lyrics from a Tori Amos song I used to listen to on repeat, in high school
And this one line stuck out to me
The happy phantom—has no right to bitch
This super-positive song about having become a ghost, about having no reason to complain when you're—happy!
I'm in this position right now. My world is good. The old is carried slightly with me into each day. The new surrounds me, invites me to play with it. Everything I encounter seems my teacher since I try to learn from it
I like some people and don't like some people—but I like myself for how I interact with all of them. I like some circumstances in my life and I don't like some circumstances—but I like myself for how I interact with all of them
My birth family—are at a distance. And at a distance they shall stay. The relationships' active parts are over. I have mourned them, learned from them, and am daily letting go of them
My dear GF, my dear boo—I love you in all our realness, in all that we actually are. I love you
My cousin Kristi, my friend—I love you and all the ideas we share
Everyone else—you are a joy to me
And so I find myself a happy phantom—a phantom because I am outside my life and beyond it—and happy because—because!—I'm happy just because. And this happy phantom has no right to bitch
So that's why you'll find me saying, "Yes!" and "Let's do it!" to everything that's offered. That's why the words that come out of my mouth will be cheerleading words. Deep down, I'm happy and according to this song by Tori Amos (whose lyrics I interpret literally and unquestioningly) that happiness revokes my right and my need and my ability to bitch at all!