Switch the refuge point to the present moment
Many of us have place we go, in our minds, to seek refuge. They're not always full-fledged dissociations, but we have safe and calm places in our minds and lives where we go
Some of us go to bars. Others to church. Others to imginary places in the mind
Our imaginary places need not be places. They can be thoughts or thought patterns—like when things get tough I use a certain defense mechanism to fight off the chaos. My defense mechanism is my safe place. My enthusiasm is my safe place. Those are some of the kinds of places I'm talking about
We go there to make things easier on ourselves, because reality is too hard
But what if we could reverse the effects of the dangerous places and the safe places so that seeking refuge in the current moment is what made sense
If I started to see that the effects of going to those imaginary places were less desirable than the effects of staying in the present moment, then I would start to escape the other way—from all the nonexistent places to the only one that truly exists