Someone who teaches without thinking and someone who learns without thinking

Transactional analysis is a theory by Eric Berne from the 1950s that introduces a model Parent, Adult, and Child. It says the Parent mimics how their parents acted, the Adult objectively relates to the world, and the Child acts how it acted in childhood. It says people switch between these states during interactions. And it proposes that we play a set of games while interacting in this way

I think in these terms sometimes

It occurs to me that these categories can be defined also in this way—

A Parent—someone who teaches without thinking. A child—someone who learns without thinking. An adult—who thinks as she teaches and learns

A Parent is someone who teaches those around them behavior or lessons they learned when they were Children (without modifying the lessons to be situation-appropriate—without thinking)

A Child is someone who learns from those around them without thinking. This is a little bit different than what Berne defined in transactional analysis. Here I'm saying the Child accepts information unthinkingly. Learns whatever you teach it

An Adult is someone who is thinking (weighing, analyzing) what happens between their input and what they learn—and what happens between what they know (and were taught) and their output. The person is giving thought to what she chooses to learn and how she chooses to teach (or what she chooses to read and how she chooses to behave)

So this slightly different set of categories is not transactional analysis. But it does give way to thought about a slightly different set of games that we play

When I'm interacting, how often do I slip into that automatic learning or reading of the lessons and behavior that go on around me? How often do I unconsciously slip into repeating what I have read or what I have learned or what I subtly assume? And how often am I able to maintain presence around what goes in and what comes out of me?