Notes (14 November 2021)

Lisa: Monday 15 November 2pm

Carla: Walker

The Lilliputian Doll—title

Another Kind of Unbearable—title

Make my goal for every day to be as kind as possible to everyone I meet

Not the same as, not the opposite of (oblivion)—but just in between!

“I could, even in this world, if I wanted to, get past that struggle—that if I have any task in my lifetime it is to completely dismantle my concept of problem” (carbon and bullshit)

First three words I saw in word find: positive mystical love

Be in the states for right before sleep and just after waking, simultaneously

We built this so that we could discover/create the perfect life for ourselves. “You” are helping test the spaces, bodies, intelligence, and other parameters of the life we will soon be living (message)

Try holding my arms behind my neck with a loop!

What I’m afraid of—write stories on those subjects

GF said “I feel blessed to be witnessed by you”—so that’s part of what I do, I witness her!

GF said, “I love your cock” after we both had came

In everything, laugh

The reason..I wouldn’t want it to happen..is it would hurt him (which is why I did it?)

Why am I x? ..I don’t chase illusions

A children’s book called “smells” which is a story told through smells, in the second person “you smell the xyz. You go through the door with the abc..” not explaining the reason the person only senses through smell

Remain grateful—be grateful for everything (equally in defeat and success)

If it’s not occurring right here right now in this moment, do not think about it

I worry in order to keep myself from ecstasy (what happens when I don’t do that? =) and it is a measure of how unready I am to feel (ecstasy)

(ask) What can I do that best serves GF?

My life is pretty good, considering

Do nothing. Take no action. In everything, this. (I took action once, I made statements—now I am retired, now I am on hiatus.)

Kristi praises me for keeping my shape through all that happens

The idea occurs to me that anyone in my family who thinks this is something I am doing to them..is wrong. This is something dad did, not something I did at all

Take no prisoners

Remember Christopher thinks I’m nice! Keep it that way

I am being hand held in this life along a theme whose expression continues to evolve to me. Right now I understand it to be that I know the importance of children. As someone with none. Who identifies as the ancient child? Who was abused as one. I think that’s why I’m here. I am excited to see what’s next

This is an entertainment for gods

I’m thankful for this experience

Do nothing. And find the success in that

Don’t respond to anyone, don’t write, don’t speak to people I don’t know. I don’t have an opinion about this, that

Make myself last priority—put first those younger than me

My life is based on generosity—rather than greed

Get renters insurance?

Say “I’m through with that now” whenever old stuff pops up

This is an entertainment for gods

Everything I say is a kind of joke. And the joke goes—What if this were true?

People initially trying to figure out how different and how the same they are—why? (what are we doing?)—what does it have to do with offending or not offending another person

Ignore every communication possible—be unreachable

Consider only what is needed for the present moment. Don’t plan. That way I travel light—nothing much in my mind

Every moment is handleable in itself, survivable in itself, and gives way to the next, which is handleable in itself..

Never seeking it, never avoiding it—that’s the meaning of oblivion is the only real philosophy—you’re never predicated on anything—predications, addictions versus oblivion

“Wine doses on sunny days are halved.” (Picnic)

If sometimes silence is the best statement, then nothing is also sometimes the best course of action

What I read about a student learning not to blame others and a master learning not to blame himself

GF told me I never hurt her feelings and I never make her feel bad about herself ++