“I’m the same motherfucker as I ever was” (House of Pain)

This is my daily amp-up song. As much as we all change, this song helps me remember what's the same about me, from a kid to now

I still ask the hard questions. From youth until now, I peer deep and I peer hard and I am not afraid to ask myself the hard questions

I am thorough—I deal with things. This is how my brain works. If there's a stray string hanging from my current problem, I will come back and cut it—while I'm sleeping, even. In high school I did calculus in my sleep—in adulthood I've expanded this to include programming and real-life problems

I was tapping at a computer as a second grader, writing GW-BASIC then, C now. I am a programmer through and through (rigorously disciplined by the compiler)

I pay attention to the details—but not as much as I pay to the big picture

I was dorky then—even dorkier now. Throwing parties at 10 on a Saturday morning in the 10th grade (my friends all thought I was crazy—they came to my party anyway). Maybe the term is eccentric (ish)—maybe the term is mentally ill. Whatever it is, I am an individual. I don't follow your rules. I don't care about your rules. I probably never even heard of your rules. This is a key element to who I am—I am me regardless of what you're doing, what you want me to do, what you think of me. I have always been strong like this—a friend after high school said I had "solid brass neuticles." In 11th grade I was the one person in the classroom who had the grit to not laugh at the special-ed kid who had TP on the cuff of her jeans (as everyone else in the classroom did)—but to stand up, follow her, and remove the toilet paper from her jeans. Everyone who would have sat laughing in that classroom: I hate you and everything you don't stand for. You've been replete in my life since that 11th grade and I survive you as a man lost in the woods survives being surrounded by poisonous mushrooms—fuck you

On the subject, I use so much cream in my coffee that you ask me what drink I'm making (surely it can't just be coffee!)—Yep, even if it's half cream, it's still coffee

I'm that motherfucker who loves cheese

I'm that motherfucker who writes

I care for people regardless of the cost

I'm playful—when solving problems or just in the stuff of life

It has been said I'm both head and heart

Finally, I'm loyal—to my principles and to people. If you violate my principles, you're gone forever. If I love you, I'll love you forever. I don't tolerate people talking shit about my friends behind their backs—that's part of how I'm loyal. I'll speak up for you when you're not around. Anyone who doesn't do that for me? Gone

So..? People who think I've changed? Check your records

I am (still, and quite happily) the same motherfucker that I ever was